Kiamo Ko
by Saran VD
Summary: RENTWICKED crossover. Begins at the end of Mark's film. The Rent gang takes a wrong turn and ends up in Elphaba's castle. What could go wrong? Everything! Try it. ON HIATUS until summer '07
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Not sure if this'll be any good… just thought it'd be something fun to try… reviews welcome… NO FLAMES! (I'm sensitive…) Begins where movie (yes movie not musical) ends.**

Kiamo Ko

_Chapter One: The Hospital_

"Meems…" said Roger as soon as Mark's film ended. "You ok?"

"Still a little dizzy and crap," she replied, desperately trying to sit up straight.

Mark shut off his projector. "I still think we need to take her to a hospital. She's been living on the street and everything…"

"Uh, Mark? I'm here. I can hear everything that you say."

Maureen giggled.

"Mark's right, Mimi," said Joanne. "You could still be sick."

"But I don't feel sick," said Mimi, climbing off the table. She wobbled and sat back down.

"Please, Meems," begged Roger.

Mimi sighed. "Fine."

"We can take my car," said Joanne.

"You have a car, Pookie?" said Maureen.

"I only use it in emergencies. Like now. I'll be right back with it," said Joanne, and she left.

* * *

"Joanne," asked Maureen as Joanne turned right for the hundredth time, "do you know where you're going?" 

"Pretty much," said Joanne making another right turn.

"Pookie, we're going to end up going in circles. Please turn _left_ at least once."

Joanne turned left.

Mark took out his camera and began to film. "December 24, 1990. 11 PM, Eastern Standard Time. How many times will Joanne Jefferson drive us past this tree?" Mark zoomed in on a small maple tree.

"Shut up."

Mimi laughed weakly.

"I still don't know how we all fit in this car," said Roger.

"Hitchhiker!" screamed Maureen, pointing out the window.

"That's Benny, you idiots!" said Mimi.

Joanne stopped and Roger opened the door. Benny climbed in and sat on Collins' lap.

"Thanks, Benny," said Collins, his voice sounding muffled.

"You guys found Mimi," Benny said, not caring if he was suffocating Collins, which he was very close to doing. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"'Cause we hate your guts," said Maureen from the front seat.

Benny kicked the back of her chair.

"I hope the police don't catch us like this," muttered Joanne.

"Why, Pookie?"

"LOOK! Mimi's sitting on Roger's lap, who's sitting next to Collins, who has Benny on _his_ lap, who's sitting next to Mark, who's filming frikkin' street lamps."

"You lost me around look," said Maureen.

"Yeah, well, I also lost my sense of direction," said Joanne, driving into a dark tunnel, headed towards a warm, white light.

"I think that we're all dying. Did you crash us into a tree, Joanne?" asked Benny.

"No."

They kept driving, and the white light led to the interior of a dark, dank castle.

Joanne's car sat in the middle of Kiamo Ko.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: OOOOOOOOO two updates in one day! Aren't you lucky? "Today 4 U" (c) to Johnathan Larson.**

Kiamo Ko

_Chapter Two: Angel_

"What in Oz's name…?" screamed someone deep inside the castle.

Everyone gulped. The voice definitely didn't sound friendly.

A tall woman with long black hair walked in. She wore a simple black frock, and a witch's hat was perched on her head. She had dark brown eyes, high cheekbones, and green skin.

"She has your face, Mo," teased Mark. "And your eyes, and your temper."

"Shut up," said Maureen. "I am not emerald, anyway."

"I could fix that…"

"What the hell!" shouted the green woman. "Who are you? What do you want?"

"She's so friendly," muttered Mimi.

"I heard that," said the green woman.

"Who is she, anyway?" wondered Mark aloud.

"Heard that, too." The Witch glared at them, but there was a twinkle in her eye. "Elphaba. Elphaba Thropp. More commonly known as the Wicked Witch of the West."

Maureen's jaw dropped.

"What?" said Elphaba, planting her hands on her hips.

"Elphaba's my middle name…"

"You are…"

"Maureen Johnson."

"Too weird! Maureen is my middle name."

"Ok," said Mimi, "now I'm scared."

Elphaba glared at her.

"You heard that, too."

"Yep."

Joanne stared at them. "Are we going to sit in here all day all crammed together?" She climbed out of the car.

"Joanne!" screamed Maureen.

"What the hell!" yelled Roger.

"Are you insane?" shouted Mimi.

Collins said something that no one could understand.

Joanne held out her hand to Elphaba. "Joanne Jefferson," she said.

Elphaba took the lawyer's hand in hers and gave it a firm shake.

Everyone stared.

"Are you _sure_ that you're the Wicked Witch of the West? This isn't Halloween or anything, is it?" asked Benny, scooting over to the window and sitting on Mark in the process.

"Please don't talk about Halloween, Benny," said Collins, finally able to breathe.

"Oh, sorry."

"What's Halloween?" asked Elphaba.

Everyone stared at her.

"Seriously, what happened on Halloween that makes it so hard to talk about?"

Collins looked at his shoes.

"Tell me!" she begged.

Mimi sighed. "One of our best friends, and his," she jabbed her thumb at Collins, "err…"

"Girlfriend," said Collins.

"Girlfriend, Angel Schunard, died on Halloween this year."

Collins began humming something.

"OH! What does she look like?"

"She had short black hair and… don't you mean _did_?" asked Mimi.

"No." Elphaba smiled. She began to sing. "Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Day, whose charity is only matched by talent, I must say. A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde... Angel Dumott Schunard!"

Everyone stared at her as she rushed to open a big wooden door. A familiar face was seen stepping out of the shadows.

"Angel…?" said Collins, climbing out of the car and rushing over to her.

"You okay, honey?" said Angel, smiling.

"Angel!" squealed Mimi, climbing out of the car. She turned to Elphaba. "How…?"

"I can do whatever I want. I'm the Wicked Witch of the West!" she cackled.

Angel walked over to Elphaba. "Thanks, sugar," she said, and gave her a hug.

Elphaba smiled and hugged her back. "Don't mention it."

"Seriously, though," said Collins, wrapping his arm around Angel, "how did you do it?"

Elphaba smiled. "I was trying to save Fiyero from certain death, and in the process she came back to life."

"Really?"

"No."

"Then what did you do?"

"I'm not exactly sure. I was trying to kill the Wizard, I think is what it was, and instead I brought her back to life."

"What kind of witch are you anyway?" asked Mark, shoving Benny off of him and climbing out of the car.

"That's for me to know and you to find out."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks to all the reviewers. I'm shocked! This is one of my more reviewed stories, and it's only two (well, now three) chapters long! Feedback is love.

Kiamo Ko

_Chapter Three: Elphaba_

Maureen climbed out of the car. "Can I talk to you, Elphaba? Alone?"

Elphaba nodded and the two went to another room of the castle. A Flying Monkey walked over to Elphaba and started making noises similar to cracking wood. "Not now, Chistery," she said impatiently. The two women walked into the tower room and sat down around an ancient wooden table.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" asked Maureen. "First off, where did you get plastic surgery to look like me?"

"What's plastic surgery?" asked Elphaba, but Maureen ignored her.

"And honestly, you will _never_ be as good looking as I am. You. Are. _GREEN_."

Elphaba blushed. "You really think that I'm trying to look like you? First of all, Miss Drama Queen, I'm about ten years older. If anything, you are trying to look like me. If you are, you have some serious mental issues."

"Are you saying I have mental issues!"

"Maybe I am!"

Maureen stood up angrily. "Say it to my face, Wicked Bitch of the West!"

Elphaba stood up and leaned so that her face was mere inches away from Maureen's. "You have mental issues."

Maureen glared at her. "Well, at least _I_ have a social life!"

"You do?" said Elphaba, sitting down lazily. "Those people down there didn't seem to like you very much."

"That was just teasing," Maureen muttered.

"Was it?" asked Elphaba, smiling smugly.

"Yeah. I bet I have more friends than you could dream about, Miss Green Girl."

"Do you? Well, then, would it be safe to bet that in a week you will still know your friends that are here better than I will?"

"Perfectly safe."

"Then, it's a bet. One week. We'll see who's better friends with who when we're done."

"Wha? I never… Oh, all right. One week."

**A/N: Short chapter, sorry.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thought I forgot, didn't you? Well, I didn't! This is going to be VERY strange… you have been warned (mainly because I'm trying to write the whole chapter within 20 minutes)**

**LOOK! SOME NEW PEOPLE! Not to you readers, but to the bohemians!**

Kiamo Ko

_Chapter 4: Two Kinds of Love_

Elphaba and Maureen joined the others, both determinedly avoiding each other's gazes. No one noticed their paths of vision, however. Roger and Mimi were making out, Joanne and Benny were arguing about who knows what, Mark was experimenting filming the castle, and Collins was in the middle of a conversation with Angel.

Maureen glared at Elphaba and entered Joanne's debate, immediately siding with her lover.

Elphaba sighed. Chistery hopped over again.

"Miss Elphaba…" he said in his incomprehensible voice.

"Yes, Chistery?"

"Yero's here."

Elphaba jumped up and ran to the door. "Fiyero!" she said with a smile.

The Scarecrow smiled back. "Elphaba, how are you?" He glanced around. "And _why_ is there a car in here?"

"Long story, but Yero, darling, I think we'll have some guests. So we'll have to be good."

"Aw, shucks," he said, wrapping his arms around her. She laughed.

"What were you planning on?"

"I don't want to spoil anything."

She smiled. "Well, come meet our guests, then." She dragged him into the room where everyone was.

If it wasn't Elphaba that shut everyone up, it was the fact that she was holding someone's hand. More importantly, she was holding a _Scarecrow's_ hand.

Maureen's jaw dropped. "Who the hell is this?"

Elphaba merely rolled her eyes. "We're going upstairs. Don't break anything." With a swish of her cloak she was gone.

Fiyero smiled bashfully. "Hi." He ran after Elphaba.

Everyone stared at Maureen.

"What?"

"_Who the hell is this_?" mocked Roger. Maureen glared at him.

Mimi quickly broke in. "Who knows who he is? Who cares, really? We're invading her personal life. So what if she's in love with a scarecrow?"

Mark chuckled.

"Mark, I wouldn't be talking," teased Collins.

"I wonder what they're doing upstairs…" Mark chortled.

Joanne smacked him. "Leave her alone. She said something about saving someone from certain death earlier, remember?"

Everyone stared at her. "How do you remember these things?" asked Maureen.

Joanne shrugged.

Chistery hopped into the room, carrying a tray of food. Mimi screamed in terror and clung to Roger.

"It's a monkey. He won't hurt you." Roger gently pulled Mimi off of him.

"Actually," said a light and airy voice, "Chistery is a Monkey. Capital letter."

Maureen shrieked and looked out the window. A blonde woman was floating in a bubble. She wore a soft, sky-blue gown and had a matching tiara perched on her cascade of curls.

"Have you seen Elphie?" she asked, clearly not noticing how terrorized the bohemians were by a girl in a bubble.

"W-w-w-w-w-h-h-h-h-o-o-o-o-o's-s-s E-e-e-e-l-l-l-phi-i-i-i-ie?" stuttered Mimi.

"Chistery?" asked the blonde, ignoring Mimi.

"Fiyero," answered Chistery.

"I thought so," said the blonde, and she floated away.

"That was a little scary…" noted Benny.

"Welcome to this week's latest television craze, Benny States the Obvious," joked Collins.

Benny's comeback was cut off by a scream of joy coming from upstairs.

Everyone stared as loud footsteps were heard coming down the stairs.

Elphaba ran into the room, ecstatic with joy. Everyone stared even harder as the blonde ran in at her heels. They stared harder yet when a man with brown hair and blue eyes followed both of them.

"Did you _see_ him come in?" Benny asked Angel, who was nearest. Angel shook her head.

Mimi outright fainted when the man kissed Elphaba on the cheek.

Elphaba smiled. A genuine smile, not the smirk she'd been making for as long as the bohemians knew her.

"Aaaaaw…" said the blonde. Elphaba laughed.

"Shut up, Glinda. You're just jealous," Elphaba retorted, smacking her old friend playfully on the shoulder. Glinda pouted and rubbed her shoulder as if Elphaba had hurt her.

"Fae-Fae," said the man softly.

"Yes, Yero?" asked Elphaba, looking at him.

"FIYERO???" gasped Maureen. "I thought he was a Scarecrow!"

"I was, but she fixed that," said Fiyero, wrapping his arms around her waist. Glinda continued to pout.

"You actually did something right?" teased Angel. "You mean to say, that you were _intending_ for Fiyero to be made human again?"

Elphaba nodded. "It's a miracle…" she said with a laugh.

When no one was looking, Elphaba gave Maureen a triumphant look.

"It's just because Angel's grateful," the diva huffed.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ok, for those of you who didn't figure it out already, ELPHABA CHANGED FIYERO BACK INTO A PERSON! Sorry, but I've had people reviewing and asking what Elphie did. I won't name names; you know who you are.**

**ON WITH THE FIC! Oh, and I think that every chapter, someone will side either with Elphie or with Mo. So, who's up next…? (Cackles)**

Kiamo Ko

_Chapter 5_

Elphaba was not used to having guests. Social skills weren't her forte, either. So, that evening, she just said to everyone, "Here's the food, help yourself."

As all the Bohemians were eating, Fiyero, Elphaba, and Glinda were talking.

"Elphie, where did they come from? And what's up with you and that curly-haired girl?" asked Glinda.

Elphaba sighed. "Well, to be honest, they drove into my house. And about Maureen, do you mean why do we look alike or why we keep giving each other sideways glances?"

"You two do _not_ look alike! You're about ten years older, you have straight black hair instead of brown curly hair, and you are green. I'm talking about why you keep glancing at each other for no apparent reason."

"Well, see, she forced me into a bet…"

"Liar," said Glinda casually.

"What? Alright, we have this bet that I can become better friends than she is with her friends. OK? There's no prize or wager or anything, I just want to prove the little bitch wrong."

"Good for you…" Glinda said, not quite agreeing with what Elphaba was doing.

"Well," said Fiyero, "I think that the one guy, you know who I'm talking about?"

The women shook their heads.

"The Hispanic one. In the skirt…?"  
"Angel?" asked Elphaba.

"Yeah, Angel. He seems to consider you his friend."

"She, Yero darling, _she_," Elphaba corrected gently.

"Oh. Sorry."

"That's ok," Elphaba said, laying her head on his shoulder.

Fiyero began stroking her hair as if it was a rabbit. Elphaba smiled and closed her eyes.

Giggling was heard outside. Mimi and Roger flung themselves into the room, hand in hand, like those young couples in cheesy romance movies.

Elphaba started. "What are you doing in here?" she shrieked.

Mimi blushed. "Sorry. Did we interrupt anything?"

"Not at all!" chirped Glinda. "Wanna join us?" She conjured two chairs.

"Since when can you do _that_?" asked the Witch, shocked by her friend's hidden talent.

"I've gotten better. Gimme some credit," she pouted.

Mimi smiled and sat down. Roger followed suit.

Fiyero put his arm around Elphaba. As always, he was perfectly comfortable in these kinds of awkward situations. Elphaba sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder, lost in thought.

"So," said Roger, breaking the moment, "what were you all talking about?"

"She was just telling us about all of you." Fiyero smiled at them.

The silence was long and heavy, broken awkwardly by Collins and Angel.

"Hey, guys!" said Angel, sitting on the floor at Mimi's feet. Collins sat beside her.

"Hi, Angel," said Mimi.

Elphaba sighed again. So much for catching up with old friends…

"What cha talkin' 'bout?" asked the drag queen. "Why the long face, Elphaba?"

Elphaba shrugged. "It's nothing."

"You sure?" Angel seemed genuinely concerned.

Elphaba nodded. "It's nothing…"

"It doesn't seem like nothing."

Elphaba's temper finally got the better of her. "WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?"

Silence. No one made a sound. Elphaba stormed out, muttering and cursing under her breath, half at the Bohemians, but half at herself.

Someone grabbed her arm. She expected to see Fiyero, but instead, it was Roger.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Fine. I'm fine."

"You sure? Angel was just trying to help you."

"I know. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"A very long story, and not for the ears of a guy I barely even know." And with that, she stormed up to her room, leaving a very confused Roger in her wake.

Roger stared after her. This woman was a puzzle, and one he was determined to solve.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm back! He he he… Which means that our next chapter is being published! (Obviously, if you're reading this… never mind)**

**I just had my life eaten by PETER PAN at my school. It was insane, but fun. Can't wait 'til next year's musical… sigh**

**So, as a recap, now Roger's all curious-like, Elphie's pissed, Glinda's confused (typical), Fiyero isn't thinking (typical), Maureen's pissed, Angel's cool (YAY!), and no one else really cares.**

**Warning: New twist- is Elphie as nice as she appears? Read on and find out…**

**R&R my friends!**

**Thimbles from the author,**

**SARAN VD**

**_Disclaimer: if I owned any of these characters, my name would be Jonathan Larson, which it's not, cuz I'm a girl, and no one names their daughter Jonathan, unless… oh, never mind._**

Kiamo Ko

_Chapter 6_

Midnight. Maureen had her hair in tiny little braids all over her head and a lit candle in one hand. Her target: Fiyero Tiggular, the one person who could get in the way of her winning the popularity contest. She padded around the castle barefoot, in one of Elphaba's black nightgowns, peeking into all the rooms. No luck. She decided to give up and go to sleep (Joanne was waiting awake for her) when who should she run in to but…

Roger.

"Damn," she muttered.

Roger frowned. "So you don't like me anymore?"

"Well, I was _hoping_ that you would be Fiyero… oh god. I'm sorry Roger… it's not like that!"

"Well, what is it like? What, do you plan to set a record and break two or maybe even three hearts at once? I didn't think you were the type to do that, Mo."

"I'm not!" she called after Roger as he disappeared into the room he and Mimi were sharing.

Roger ignored her and went back to sleep.

But Maureen's argument woke someone else up: a young preteen girl, maybe 10 or 11. She rubbed her eyes and stared at Maureen. Her eyes were bright blue, contrasting with her emerald skin, which was just like her mother's.

Maureen stared back.

Then the little girl screamed and ran into a bedroom, and soon lights were turning on all over the castle.

Maureen blushed and blew out her candle, trying to avoid the stares of Roger, Mimi, Benny, Joanne, Collins, Angel, Mark, Fiyero, Elphaba, and the little girl.

Elphaba whispered something in the girl's ear, and that was all it took for a heated argument to erupt between the two, completely in whispers. Finally, the girl stepped forward and held out her hand.

"Shana Tiggular, daughter of Elphaba Thropp and Fiyero Tiggular," she said, sounding more grown up than she really was.

Maureen was in shock. She took the girl's hand and gave it a firm shake. Shana smiled, and addressed everyone. "Nothing to see, you can all get back to bed." She turned, still smiling sweetly, to Maureen, and suddenly turned venomous. "And I'll deal with _you_ tomorrow."

Maureen rolled her eyes. "Oh, how I quiver with fear."

Joanne grabbed her lover by the arm and dragged her away.

"Why am I only hearing of this now?" Fiyero accused.

Shana hugged him. "Oh, Daddy."

Elphaba stroked Shana's brown curls and sent her back to bed.

Fiyero snaked his arms around her waist. "You've gotta do something about her. If Maureen…"

"Don't start. I don't think even Maureen would harm a child."

"But if the Wizard…"

"Long gone."

"Or Glinda…"

"She'd sleep through an earthquake as long as her curlers didn't get disturbed. Besides, Glinda's a big, blonde softie."

Fiyero sighed. "I'm just sayin'"

"I'll talk to her," said Elphaba, heading up to Shana's room in the highest room of the tallest tower.

"Shana?" asked Elphaba, lighting the lantern by the girl's door. "Can I come in?"

Shana nodded. She was staring out the window as the sun peeked over the hills. "Mama," she said, "Mama, why am I cursed like this? Why do I have to suffer everyone's pain _for_ them? Most importantly, Mama, why is your secret twin staying in our house?"

Elphaba grinned and stood next to her daughter. "You know, Shana, Maureen isn't my twin."

"Well, then, who is she?"

"… A guest."

"What do you mean? How long is she gonna be here?"

"Why do you ask?"

"She was trying to get Daddy."

"Oh, Shana!" Elphaba laughed nervously.

Shana stared at her mother. "No, really, she was! She really wants to win that bet."

Elphaba started. "How do you know about that?"

"I'm not _deaf_, Mama."

"That is not your concern," snapped the Witch, getting that angry spark back in her eye.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you!" the girl pleaded, cowering.

Elphaba slapped her across the cheek. "If you _ever_ interfere with my personal life again… well, let's just say you're lucky I'm tired." And with a swoosh of black nightgown, she was gone.

Shana crumpled to the floor and cried, caring more about the bruise on her cheek than the sting of her tears.

Joanne's room was right under Shana's, and she quietly lit a candle and headed softly up the stairs to figure out the source of the child's tears.


End file.
